I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
