You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
