I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize