The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
