At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
