If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
