Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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