they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
