1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
she smelled like a LAN party
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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