ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
