I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
