sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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