Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
