I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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