Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
