Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
