One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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