I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
