Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
