im six kinds of drunk right now
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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