My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
