how can u be prego again
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.