im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I pour the whiskey from now on