i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
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