Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
