She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
