Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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