My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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