i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
