My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
operation harelip BJ is a go
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
