Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize