Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
