If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
