In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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