are you still at the devil's house?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
