There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
