Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
