Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize