1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
