He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
