When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
