Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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