so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
