didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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