I hope mine doesn't look like that
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
