Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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