Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
