The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
