hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
