Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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