you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
