just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
