see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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