I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
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