my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I lost the right to judge tonight
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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