I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
