all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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